"You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'."

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"What if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder."

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair."

"When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking."

"Before you act consider; when you have considered, tis fully time to act."

"God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday."

"An ambassador is a man of virtue sent to lie abroad for his country; a news-writer is a man without virtue who lies at home for himself."

"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."