"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."

"The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!"

"The time for thinkers has come."

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."